#193: Exploding Heads

193.1  Today’s blog is utterly gratuitous. You can skip it if you want to…come back next week…no hard feelings. I’m doing it just because I want to…and can. Actually, it’s an exaggeration…things will get rather complicated, but it’s all built up one steep at a time, piece by piece, relative by relative. I realistically expect all heads to survive intact.

193.2  But the thought I had was this: take the 3 types of step-1st cousins, put them all on one chart, then see how they are related to each other. Again, as I’ve been saying for the past several weeks, the idea of step-relations beyond the immediate family of parents/children/siblings is probably “taking it too far” for a lot of people…like calling your wife’s sister’s husband your brother-in-law-in-law or something. Still, what happens if we do take it too far..

inset 1193.3  To start, we’ll take the 3 kinds of step-1st cousins and label them X, Y, and Z.

X…your parent’s step-sibling’s child
Y…your parent’s sibling’s step-child
Z…your step-parent’s sibling’s child

193.4  And just to be absolutely clear, all marriages will be labeled as 1st or 2nd…Chart 688…then it’s just a matter of wending our way thru the branches. There’s an old-timey word you don’t hear much these days…wend.

chart 688

193.5  From X‘s point of viewY is his father’s step-brother’s step-son…Z is his father’s step-brother’s second wife’s nephew. And no, Z isn’t C‘s step-nephew…simply C‘s nephew by marriage

193.6  From Y‘s point of viewX is his step-father’s step-brother’s son…Z is his step-father’s brother’s second wife’s nephew.

193.7  And from Z‘s point of viewX is his step-uncle’s step-brother’s son…and Y is his aunt’s husband’s brother’s step-son. Again, C is in no way Z‘s step-uncle, since C is neither Z‘s parent’s step-brother…nor is C the brother of Z‘s step-parent. C is merely Z‘s aunt’s husband…nothing more.

193.8  That wasn’t so bad…or was it? Except to point out that we’re beyond steps here…on the one hand steps of steps…and on the other hand relationships that can only be described as “by marriage” since there are no steps directly involved…as with C and Z. Do we dare proceed with a mass diagram of step-2nd cousins? Yes, but for a different reason…recall the 5 kinds of step-2nd cousins…

1…your step-parent’s 1st cousin’s child
2…your step-grandparent’s sibling’s grandchild
3…your grandparent’s step-sibling’s grandchild
4…your grandparent’s sibling’s step-grandchild
5…your parent’s 1st cousin’s child

193.9  …yielding Chart 689, which might almost be described as magnificent, in its own lugubrious sort of way…

chart 689

193.10  But instead of relating  1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 to each other…which you’re perfectly free to do if you like…I’ll instead use Chart 689  to demonstrate what I meant last week when I said that these types of step-2nd cousins compliment each other by pairs…they are opposite ends of one relationship. That is, if you have a type 1, to him you are a type 5…if you have a type 5, to him you are a type 1. Ditto with types 2 and 4…and 3’s are all 3’s to each other.

193.11 These charts spell that out…and to analyze one example, in Chart 690, what 5 is to you, you are to 1. Starting with you (green line) and 1 (orange line) you go up to a grandparent…then to the grandparent’s sibling…then to the sibling’s child…then to the child’s step-child. The green and orange lines don’t look exactly the same because in some cases I have diagrammed both parents, in other cases just one parent, but if you follow it along, you’ll see the paths are identical.

chart 690 chart 691 chart 692

193.12  And if this reminds you of how you are a spousal BIL to your fraternal BIL, and a fraternal to your spousal…well that’s as it should be. Next week, we wrap up steps with a collection of notions and sundries…back in 7…

wicked ballsy


Uncle Grandpa is the star of a bizarre animated TV series of the same name…he is described as being either the uncle or grandfather of everyone on Earth…a neat trick, but then it’s only a cartoon show, nez pah? And yes, one episode features his counterpart, Aunt Grandma. In a similar vein are…the title of the first Make Room for Daddy episode: “Uncle Daddy”…a concoction from the Pogo comic strip, Aunt Granny’s Bitter Brittle Root, said to cure the cold robbies and whim-whams…heck, even Uncle Junior from The Sopranos. 


Copyright © 2014 Mark John Astolfi, All Rights Reserved


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